What a time to be alive!There are literally hundreds of dating apps to choose from to find love (or whatever you’re looking for) in 2021.
Have a preference for dating farmers and ranch hands? Check outFarmer’s Only. Looking to date someone who has a beard? Look no further thanBristlr, a dating app for people who prefer facial hair.
People are constantly asking me, “Jade— your job is helping people find love, so what’s the best dating app out there?”
The truth is, as with most things in dating, that there is no “best dating app”.You instead have to find the right one for you.
I mainly useBumble,Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel to run my clients’ dating profiles. These apps have yielded the highest number of quality dates for my clients, so I consistently use them. If you’ve been around for my dating advice you know the dating app that I don’t recommend isTinder.
Coffee Meets Bagel(CMB) is my third favorite dating app! It refers to itself as the “original anti-swiping app.” CMB prides itself on curating more authentic connections since it launched in 2012.
One of the complaints I hear (mostly from women) about dating apps is that some users are OVERWHELMED with the number of messages they get. If someone opens their app and sees 30 + new messages it can feel a bit too much.
So what do a lot of women do instead? Theyclose the app or delete itto come back and redownload at a later date,again and again.
Coffee Meets Bagel has proposed a way of curbing this issue. Every day at noon CMB sends you a handful of matches (5-21 depending on if you’re free or a premium member) who you’ve been connected with based upon compatible preferences. This more relaxed way of making introductions allows users to take the time and check out their matches and hopefully make more meaningful connections.
Additionally, female users only see those who have already liked them in their suggested list. If the individuals suggested by Coffee Meets Bagel aren’t people you’re interested in, you can browse others under the discover section of the app instead.
Similar to other apps, there are benefits to the paid features. CMB uses “beans” which you will need to purchase to access the added perks. You can earn free “beans” as well just by using the app. The end result is pretty simple — if you both like each other on the app, you have seven days to exchange contact information and take the conversation offline.
Let’s weigh the pros and cons...
Coffee Meets Bagel Pros:
Less catfishing than apps like Tinder
Women outnumber men 60:40
Users are less overwhelmed (allowing women to be more responsive)
Easy to use
Free basic membership
Gives you ice breakers to easily start conversations
Coffee Meets Bagel Cons:
Not as many users as Tinder, Bumble & Hinge
Cater more towards larger cities (not a lot of matches in rural areas)
Matching is limited to age, height, distance, ethnicity, and religion (leaving out politics, education, family planning, etc.)
You’re limited to liking 5 people per day (for free members)
Coffee Meets Bagel For Those Dating After Divorce
60% of Coffee Meets Bagel users are between 30-49. That being said, if you are in your 50s and open to dating people in their early 40s I would still recommend this app for you.
One of the most intimidating things about dating is not knowing how to interact with people in a dating scene. Most of my clients were previously married for a decade or longer. CMB gives users a lifeline by suggesting icebreakers when you match with someone new. Instead of saying, “Hey! How’s your day going?” you can respond to the statements your match has written about themselves.
Step 1: Transitioning From “We” Back To “Me”
YAY! Your divorce is final and you’re ready to start your next chapter! Now is the time to go from “we” back to “me”, exploring who you really are and what you want this next chapter of your life to look like. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but someone’s got to be. Now is NOT a time for dating apps!
Jumping straight into using a dating app like Coffee Meets Bagel wouldn’t be fair to yourself (or the other person) in the long run. I suggest resisting this urge to get out there right away, as it can cause a lot of emotional damage. Instead, focus on healing yourself. Here is afree reflection journalI recommend to anyone dating after divorce.
Step 2: You’re Ready To Casually Date
One of my favorite things about Coffee Meets Bagel is it’s a straightforward approach to matching singles. This is one of my top picks for a dating app to get back out there into the dating world and discover what you like and don’t like.
If you’re ready for this and thinking to yourself, “Yes,Jade! I’d love to casually date, but I have no idea how to even talk to someone, let alone flirt after this pandemic.” I have youcovered!
Step 3: You’re Ready For A Relationship
According to a survey by CMB, over 85% of its users are looking for an LTR (long-term relationship). Even new relationships can get complicated. When you find yourself getting back out there, be sure to go into this new chapter with a positive mindset or dating will feel like a second job. You got this!
Final thoughts
Never in the history of the world have there been more opportunities to meet a potential partner. That being said there are PLENTY of people out there who will waste your time, purposely or not.
Want to hear how outsourcing your dating profile can save you time and energy? Book afree consultationto chat about how I bring my clients quality matches every week while running their dating profiles.
So, if you decide that Coffee Meets Bagel is worth a shot in your dating after divorce journey please remember - be upfront with your intentions,stay safe& most importantly HAVE FUN!
As the COO of Facebook Sheryl Sandberg said, “The most important career choice you'll make is who you choose to marry.” The person you choose to embark on this next chapter with you will undoubtedly impact your future.
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