Nate Bargatze’s Nashville Christmas is a heartwarming and comedic holiday special filmed at the iconic Grand Ole Opry in Nashville. Featuring Bargatze’s signature humor and a touch of holiday magic, the special mixes stand-up comedy, musical performances, and skits to create an engaging celebration of Christmas with a Nashville twist. Bargatze’s witty monologue reflects on his roots and amusing life experiences, while the musical acts, including Darius Rucker, Noah Kahan, and Carrie Underwood, add a festive rhythm to the evening. Highlights include hilarious anecdotes about growing up in Tennessee, skits poking fun at holiday traditions, and playful jabs at Nashville’s tourism boom, all wrapped in Bargatze’s affable charm.
The special also includes unique moments, like a reimagining of the nativity scene and Bargatze’s comedic take on Christmas traditions, paired with standout musical collaborations that bring a distinct Nashville flair to holiday classics. Performances such as “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” by Underwood and Rucker, and skits featuring local celebrities and comedic talents, ensure a mix of laughter and nostalgia. With its blend of humor, music, and a heartfelt ode to Bargatze’s hometown, the show delivers a festive treat that celebrates the spirit of Christmas while showcasing Nashville’s unique character.
Nate Bargatze’s Nashville Christmas was recorded on November 21, 2024, at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, Tennessee.
The special aired on December 19, 2024, on CBS and is available for streaming on Paramount+.
* * *
[horn honks]
Come on, guys. We’re gonna be late. [sighs] Just the first Christmas special. #####
Sorry, Dad.
Sorry. Wait, I forgot my tablet. Why do you need your tablet? Just in case the show gets boring? Oh, good call. I’m gonna get mine, too. I’ll get mine, too. Here. All right, let’s go, folks.
[“Winter Wonderland” by Darius Rucker playing] ♪ Sleigh bells ring♪ ♪ Are you listening?♪ ♪ In the lane♪ ♪ Snow is glistening♪ ♪ A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight♪ ♪ Walking in a winter wonderland♪ ♪ In the meadow we can build a snowman♪ ♪ Then pretend that he is Parson Brown♪ ♪ He’ll say, “Are you married?”♪ ♪ We’ll say, “No, man”♪ ♪ “But you can do the job when you’re in town”♪ ♪ Later on♪ ♪ We’ll conspire♪ ♪ As we dream by the fire♪ ♪ To face unafraid♪ ♪ The plans that we made♪ ♪ Walking in a winter wonderland♪
[audience cheering]
Please welcome to the stage your host for the evening, Nate Bargatze.
♪ Later on♪ ♪ We’ll conspire♪ ♪ As we dream by the fire♪ ♪ To face unafraid the plans that we made♪ ♪ Walking in a winter wonderland♪ ♪ Walking in a winter wonderland.♪
[song ends]
[audience cheering]
Thank you. That’s so awesome. How about Darius Rucker? The Grey Boys.
[audience cheering]
Killed it. Welcome to the Grand Ole Opry House. It’s a crazy thing to be doing this show. I can’t believe they’re letting me. Uh, but we already started, so… [laughter] These decorations are unbelievable. This is insane. [audience whooping] They, they offered me this wreath. When I’m done, they’re like, “You can have that.” And… I accepted. We do take, as a family, I will say, we take our decorations down, uh, at a reasonable amount of time. You can’t leave them up too late. February, like, it’s like, all right, that’s lazy. You know, look, we’re all busy, I get it. March, April, that’s crazy, dude. Take your decorations down. May or June, I mean, you’re dead or the worst. But here’s what I will tell you. You can– hang with me here– if you can persevere through July, you’ve turned the corner. I mean, all of a sudden you’re better than everybody. Back on top. Now you get to go to your neighbors and go, “I guess y’all don’t celebrate Christmas.” If you don’t know, we are at the legendary Grand Ole Opry House. It’s a… [cheering] …yeah, very, very special place. The Opry is the longest running radio broadcast in America. This is the 99th year that they have been doing that, which is insane. 99 years. I am, look, I’m a fan of the Opry, but they have– there’s one Opry superfan, and he attended the Opry for 2,184 shows in a row, which is crazy. That’s 42 years. Unbelievable. We, uh, invited him here tonight, and he was like, “I’m good.” That’s what he said. He said “it wasn’t his thing.” Another little thing, uh, if you don’t know, I actually worked at Opryland, so… [cheering] Yeah, it’s pretty wild to be here. My first job, when I was 15, I grew up here, Old Hickory, Tennessee. My first job, I worked at, uh, Opryland. We had a theme park. We had a wonderful theme park that everybody loved. It was the best. We got a pretty awesome mall now instead. We were a family, uh, that never ate inside of the park. We couldn’t get food from inside the park.
[scattered applause]
Yeah, there’s a couple of us? Never afford it, you know, I mean, that’s all I dreamed about was eating inside that park. [laughter] I would just see other families and be like, “Can you imagine?” [audience laughing] “If one day “we could eat like them and not take a two-mile hike back to a van?”
[applause]
That was part of the day. Half the day was walking to and from your car. So my first job that I did here at Opryland, I, uh, when I did it, I was a, I was a sweeper. Now, this was– I… I would just sweep the steps. That was exactly what it was. I was a sweeper. This was late 1900s. So there is… I used to sweep the steps of the Grand Ole Opry, which is crazy to be– to hear now, and I will go back to that. Uh… I had dreams when I was young. I had dreams of operating a ride one day, but I blew it on the way up with my second job they gave me: the dog kennel. Yeah, so it was called a dog kennel, by the way, but not everyone brought their dogs. You know, cats, we had fish. They’d bring a bowl, put a bowl in a cage. And just… They could have left it in the car to be– now that I think about it. I watched chickens. Someone brought a chicken. A real– that’s real. People brought a ch– That’s– a chicken’s the only animal that doesn’t want to travel. It’s a bird that can’t fly. I mean, its whole vibe is like, “I’ll hang back.” The day my dream officially died of ever being promoted, I had a dog escape out of the kennel. And now– and if you don’t know this, 99% of working in a dog kennel is: don’t have the dog get out of the kennel. That’s– one percent is just you receive the dog. And then the big bulk that they rely on the most is go, “Can you not let it out?” You’re like, “Yeah, of course.” So I was sitting at my desk, [stammers] we had a desk, and I-I just saw a flash out of the corner of my eye. So the dog got out, went under a parked car, and it wouldn’t come out. So we tried to get it out ’cause we didn’t want to have to tell… We would have never told him, you know, if we could have got it out. But we could not get the dog out from under the car. This is before cell phones, so we had to make an announcement over the entire park over the loudspeaker. Just, you know, “If you, if you have a German shepherd “at the dog kennel… “nothing’s wrong. Please come quickly to the dog kenn…” I mean, they know. [chuckling]: They know, they know. No one ever goes, “Just want to let you know your dog’s awesome, and he’s still awesome.” The family got the dog out from under the car. They were very upset with me, rightfully so. So, uh, what I told them was that the dog picked the lock.
[audience laughs]
And I was like, “I’ve never even seen that.” You know, I-I was like… “I’ve never seen that ever before. “But your dog is that smart. And it overpowered me and ran out, and I was scared.” So they then apologized to me. I was, “We got a good little thing going here.” So I thought it’d make it right to be, you know, 30 years later, I would like to tell them that I did lie about that. A dog cannot pick a lock exactly like that man said at that time. But a teenager can leave a door open, so I’m sorry. We have a great night ahead of us, guys. I am so excited. I love, I love Nashville. Is there a lot of people from Nashville here?
[cheering and applause]
We got a lot of Nashville… That’s perfect. Nashville, hey, look, we do a pretty good job of marketing ourselves to tourists, but there’s always something that those “visit Nashville” ads forget to say, so I made my own. Let’s take a look. ♪ Hi there. I’m Nate Bargatze. I’m proud to call Nashville my home. And if you’ve never visited this incredible city, I just got one question for yo. What the heck are you waiting for? There’s so much to see
and even more to hear.
[crowd cheering] But the most important thing to bring when you visit, your appetite. There’s something for everyone, so come discover Nashville today. And then, you know… leave. That’s not a joke. I’m dead serious. You hear me, Los Angeles, New York people? I know you’re always looking for cool Southern cities to migrate to, but we don’t want to be the next Austin.
[loud chatter]
[horns honk] And I’m not the only one who feels this way. Isn’t that right, Martina McBride? That’s right, Nate. I mean, I thought we had an understanding, folks. We sent you Reese Witherspoon. You stay where you’re at. The system is working. [chuckles] Ah, yeah, good one, Nate. I’m Freddie O’Connell, mayor of Nashville. In reality, we welcome anyone who wants to call Nashville home. We’ve got a thriving economy and great… No, no, no, no. Don’t listen to that guy. What does he know? He’s just the mayor. I get it, people. This city seems perfect. Well, trust me, it’s not. The streets are crawling with dangerous criminals like Jelly Roll. Yo! Yo, man, I’m, I’m not that guy anymore, Nate. Well, then maybe I am that guy. How about that? I’m a menace! I’m a mean man, Nashville. Watch out! The Jelly Roll is on the loose. To everyone out there saying, [nasal voice]: “Nate’s being so selfish,” [regular voice]: I say, “Yeah, so?” I love Nashville how it is. I’m a big fish here. You think I’m gonna get the best table at Cracker Barrel with a bunch of celebs in town? Nope. I’ll take my regular table. HOSTESS: Sorry, Nate. We needed it for a VIP. Is that Jimmy Fallon? I told all my friends, you got to move to Nashville.
Jimmy.
[laughs] Hey, Jimmy, Jimmy.
[chuckles]
Jimmy. Hey, hey. Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.
No, I-I know him. Jimmy.
Hey, I’m-a have to ask… Jimmy! Again, I’m all for tourism. In fact, here’s Nate’s top ten must-dos when you visit Nashville. One: see a show at the Grand Ole Opry House.
[audience cheering]
Two: eat some barbecue. Three: go home. Four through ten: don’t move here. Don’t move here. [cheering, applause] Thanks to Cracker Barrel. Cracker Barrel doing a very cool thing. They’re giving all the staff that worked here– ’cause we’ve been making ’em do so much stuff– they’re giving them a gift card, which is nice of them. I did want to say to the staff, if you don’t want yours, I will take it.
[laughter]
Stocking stuffers, it’s all at Cracker Barrel, so go get ’em. Stick around, we will be right back. [cheering, applause] [band playing “Jingle Bell Rock”] ♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell♪ ♪ Jingle bell rock♪ ♪ Jingle bell swing and jingle bell ring.♪
[“Jingle Bell Rock” plays]
[cheering and applause]
[song ends] [wind whooshing] Rejoice, all. My wife Mary has given birth in this manger to a beautiful baby boy. We shall call him Jesus. He is a gift. A gift from God. [chorus singing] Hark, a heavenly chorus. Joseph, an angel appears to us.
[laughter, applause]
Rejoice, for God’s son Jesus is born in Bethlehem. Let this day be called Christmas, and let it be celebrated each year by gathering with family…
Amen.
Praise the Lord.
Amen.
…by doing goodwill in His name…
Hallelujah.
Hosanna. …and by putting a big pine tree in your house. Uh, a pine tree, Angel? Yes, a big pine tree. And God commands the pine tree shall be decorated with glittering glass ornaments of incredible beauty. Also with garbage that your children make at school. [audience cheering] I’m confused. Uh, garbage, Angel? Yes, garbage. Construction paper covered in glitter and glue. How much glitter and glue, Angel? All of it. Angel, uh, forgive me, how does a pine tree decorated with glass balls and…
Garbage.
Yes, garbage. How does that celebrate the birth of Jesus? I don’t know.
[cheering, applause]
But there is more to Christmas than the pine tree. There will also be much drinking of eggnog. A-And what is in eggnog, Angel? Egg and nog. And people will sing many joyous songs. [gasps] Songs about Jesus? A few boring ones, yes. There will be songs about you, Mary, and you Three Wise Men as well. And will there be songs about me? Joseph? There’s gonna be lots of songs. Most of them won’t be about what’s happening here. They will be about snow and snow-related activities. But there is no snow here, we’re in the desert. Right. That isn’t very cozy. Which is why the whole yuletide season will have a very Scandinavian vibe. “Yuletide.” What does this word mean? Nobody knows. Angel, I’m confused. None of what you’re describing feels connected to Jesus. These celebrations do not just honor Jesus. They honor the almighty being who resides atop the world.
God.
No. Santa Claus. Who is Santa Claus? A bearded, all-seeing immortal who sorts the righteous from the wicked. B-But isn’t that what God does? Yes, but… Santa does it to children, only children.
[cheering, applause]
Okay. Uh… So how exactly is Santa Claus different than God? Santa is fat and merry. He also has many followers.
Disciples.
Elves. What-what are elves, Angel? Unclear. But they make the gifts that Santa puts under the tree. Under the pine tree. Yes. See how it all came together? I mean, not really. Angel, how much of Christmas is about Santa and how much is about Jesus? 90-10 Santa. But do not fear, Mary, for on this day the faithful will gather in houses of worship and honor Jesus’s birth for one hour. Only an hour? Your churches will be an hour. Your church will be all day.
[cheering, applause]
Yours will be a lot more fun. And in both this very scene shall be reenacted in play form. And you all shall be played by the congregation’s most talented children. And who will play Jesus, Angel? A Cabbage Patch doll wrapped in a beach towel. [sighs] I see. Though I am still puzzled by much of this, I am grateful that our son’s glorious birth shall be remembered for all time. Indeed, it will. And the joy of this sacred night will live on. Indeed, it will. And that Christmas Day will forever be celebrated by all the faithful Jewish people. I’m gonna take off. Merry Christmas, y’all.
[laughter, cheering]
I’m Nate Bargatze, and I’m about to do the thing where an adult talks to children about Christmas. ♪ How do you think you’ve been, on the naughty/nice list this year? I think I’m on the nice list.
Nice.
NATE: Nice. Um, depends. At school or with my sister?
NATE: I talked to your sister. From what I hear, you start all the fights. [cracks] What’s your favorite reindeer?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Rudolph. Who do you think would win in a fight,
Rudolph or Frosty the Snowman?
Rudolph, because when the sun comes up, Frosty the Snowman is gonna melt. Peter, you might be the smartest person I’ve ever met in my life. Okay. Can I see your Christmas list? This is for Santa. “Squishmallow.”
Did you make that up?
No. Massage chair. I always get tired from school, so I just got to relax. “Go to Belize”? Where’s Belize at? I actually don’t know. I don’t know where Belize is either. Wow. “Rainbow water bottle.” What if it was just a regular water bottle? “Go to Africa.” Which could be where Belize is at. Okay. “Spider-Man car.”
Did he drive a car?
Yeah, he parked his car in a, in a web holder. So, this is what I would get as a gift when I was a kid. It is a man on a parachute. This was a big deal, growing up. It’s a wagon. This is all we had. I can’t even get the light on. What if… I told you it does that? Falls straight to the ground, hard. That was our iPad.
[cheering, applause]
[band playing “Joy to the World”]
NATE: We’ll be right back with Nate Bargatze’s Nashville Christmas. This is CBS.
[cheering, applause]
[guitar strums]
Mr. Kahan, if you have a moment, one of the executives from the record label would like to speak with you. Sure, send him in.
EXECUTIVE: Noah.
Hey. Great to meet you, man.
Good to meet you.
Yeah. I’ve been listening to your-your stuff, it’s really fantastic. Wow, thank you so much, sir.
Thank you.
Yeah. Let me guess. You’re from Vermont.
I am, yes.
All right. Right, I could tell from the songs. Like “Homesick.” Is that about Vermont? It’s about Vermont. Yep.
“Dial Drunk”?
So that one’s about going through a tough time in Vermont. Right, I mean, there’s no way “Northern Attitude’s” not about Vermont. That’s Vermont as well, yeah. Okay, quick question. Uh… do you have any songs that are not about Vermont? I’ve got this new one. It’s about feeling lost. Okay, all right, let me hear some of that. ♪ Lost amongst the mighty pines of Vermont.♪ All right, I’m gonna stop you right there. Uh… I feel like you lied to me a little bit. I did hear the “V” word there. [chuckles] I don’t– Look, my worry is I think you’ve got too many songs about Vermont. That’s not possible. Oh, it’s nothing but possible. ‘Cause, you know, it’s not really that big of a market. I mean, it doesn’t even have any real cities. Okay, what would you call Burlington then? I’d call it maybe a medium-sized town. I mean, it’s got a public bus system. And I’m so happy for them. It’s probably one bus, to be honest. But I’m just saying, population-wise, you’d be better off writing songs about Connecticut. Oh, no, I’m not inspired by Connecticut. Yeah, of course not, dude, nobody is. But… I was just using it as an example, like saying you might want to branch out a bit, do some non-Vermont songs. Oh, like about New Hampshire or–? I don’t even know if you’re listening. But artists always write about where they’re from. Like, there’s that one comedian that only ever talks about Nashville. Do you know him? I mean… yeah, let’s, I mean, let’s not worry about him right now. We’re talking about you. All right, can I just play you one more song? Is it about Vermont? Not about Vermont, it’s about loneliness. All right, let’s hear it.
[cheers, applause]
[playing “Stick Season”]
♪ As you promised me that I was more♪ ♪ Than all the miles combined, you must have♪ ♪ Had yourself a change of heart, thought halfway♪ ♪ Through the drive because your voice showed off exactly♪ ♪ As you passed my exit sign♪ ♪ Kept on driving straight and left our future♪ ♪ To the right, now I am stuck between my anger♪ ♪ And the blame that I can’t face♪ ♪ And memories are something even smoking weed♪ ♪ Does not replace and I am terrified of weather♪ ♪ ‘Cause I see you when it rains♪ ♪ And Doc told me to travel♪ ♪ But there’s COVID on the planes and I♪ ♪ Love Vermont but it’s the season of the sticks♪ ♪ And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed♪ ♪ And it’s half my fault♪ ♪ But I just like to play the victim, I’ll drink♪ ♪ Alcohol till my friends come home♪ ♪ For Christmas and I’ll dream each night♪ ♪ Of some version of you♪ ♪ That I might not have, but I did not lose♪ ♪ Now you’re tire tracks and one pair of shoes♪ ♪ And I’m split in half, but they don’t have to do♪ Grand Ole Opry! ♪ One, two, three, so I thought♪ ♪ If I piled something good on all my bad♪ ♪ That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from Dad♪ ♪ No, I am no longer funny♪ ♪ ‘Cause I miss the way you laugh♪ ♪ You once called me “forever”♪ ♪ Now you still can’t call me back♪ ♪ And I love Vermont, but it’s the season of the sticks♪ ♪ And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed♪ ♪ And it’s half my fault, but I just♪ ♪ Like to play the victim, I’ll drink♪ ♪ Alcohol till my friends come home♪ ♪ For Christmas and I’ll dream each night♪ ♪ Of some version of you that I♪ ♪ Might not have, but I did not lose♪ ♪ Now you’re tire tracks and one pair of shoes♪ ♪ And I’m split in half, but that’ll have to do♪ ♪ Oh, that’ll have to do♪ ♪ My other half was you♪ ♪ I hope this pain’s just passing through♪ ♪ But I doubt it♪ ♪ And I love Vermont♪ ♪ But it’s the season of the sticks and I♪ ♪ Saw your mom, she forgot that I existed♪ ♪ And it’s half my fault♪ ♪ But I just like to play the victim, I’ll drink♪ ♪ Alcohol till my friends come home for Christmas♪ ♪ And I’ll dream each night of some version of you♪ ♪ That I might not have but I did not lose♪ ♪ Now you’re tire tracks and one pair of shoes♪ ♪ And I’m split in half, but that’ll have to do♪ ♪ ♪ And I love Vermont♪ ♪ But it’s the season of the sticks and I♪ ♪ Saw you mom, she forgot that I existed and it’s♪ ♪ Half my fault, but I just like to play the victim♪ ♪ I’ll drink♪ ♪ Alcohol till my friends come home for Christmas♪ ♪ And I’ll dream each night of some♪ ♪ Version of you that I might not have♪ ♪ But I did not lose, now you’re♪ ♪ Tire tracks and one pair♪ ♪ Of shoes and I’m split in half♪ ♪ But that’ll have to do, Nashville♪ ♪ Have to do.♪
[cheers, applause]
Noah Kahan, ladies and gentlemen. [cheers, applause] Could be wrong, but I think that song definitely was about Vermont. But we will let that slide. Stick around, more to come after this. ♪ Have a holly, jolly Christmas♪ ♪ It’s the best time of the year.♪ ♪ Next up, we have a stand-up comic. Uh, he’s from Burlington, Vermont. Just joking. Please welcome Derrick Stroup! [cheers, applause] ♪ Run, run, Rudolph♪ ♪ Run, run, Rudolph♪ ♪ Run, run, Rudolph.♪
How y’all doing out there? Nice to meet y’all. My name is Derrick Stroup. I know some of y’all are looking at me like, “This guy looks like Nate got stung by bees.” But, uh… No, I am from 90 miles south of here. It’s so nice to be here. Let’s-let’s get to know each other. I’m-I’m 39 years old. I-I recently got engaged for the first time.
So that’s exciting, yeah.
[cheers, applause]
You know, I mean, I’m 39. I’ve been on the run for a while. You got to eventually turn yourself in, you know? I mean, we’re from the South. If you don’t get married in your 20s, they start making up rumors about you. They’re like, no, Derrick’s always been a candle guy. It’s not a big deal. No. I’ve got a great woman, though. She’s from Kansas. Everybody should get a partner from Kansas. Yeah, no, they’re very easy to impress. Yeah, she’s from a town of 88 people. I show her a five-story building. She’s like, “How’d they get up there?” You know? I’m like, “Elevators, baby. I’m gonna show you the world, you know?” We-we went to New York City not too long ago together. I’ve been there a bunch. Alyssa had never been. We’re standing in Times Square, looking around. It’s a sight to see, for sure. She looks over at me and she goes, “Derrick, I’ll be honest, there are more Amish people here than I expected.” And I go, “Alyssa, those are Jewish people.” I know from 50 yards away, it’s tough to tell, but you’ve got the wrong Ezekiel there. Yeah, I mean, I had to explain to her. I was like, “They would not ride up from Ohio catching the A-line, smoking cigarettes, you know?” They are churning butter, but anyways. I feel like I can get away with that Amish joke. They’re not gonna see this. But, no, let me tell you… [stammers] …it’s good to be in the South, man. I love to eat. I’ve lived in Colorado for the past ten years, the home of the crunchiest white people in America. They don’t like to eat how we like to eat. They’re “food is fuel” people. You know, they’re like, “A few more cashews. “I’ll run an errand. “A couple more wasabi almonds, I’m gonna go to the recycle center.” I don’t eat that way. I’m trying to take a nap after every meal. I want to put myself down like an old dog, you know? I want my eyes to fog over, and the last thing I hear is somebody saying, “He’s a good boy.” Y’all know how we eat. It’s a big deal to us, man. I mean, if you asked me what I did today, I’d tell you everything I ate. I mean, it’s how it works. I’m from a large Southern family. And there’s not many of us. We’re just heavy breathers. We use low sugar to our advantage. A Southern move. We don’t have low sugar, but we tell people we do. We go, “My sugar’s low, my sugar’s low. “And if you don’t bring us a piece of pie, you’re a bad person.” I mean, we’ll even ham it up. We’ll act like the room’s spinning. Hey, we ain’t looking for a chair. That’s just us working hard for a Twix bar. You know? My dad’s done it my whole life. He’s bigger than I am. Six-three, 300 pounds. We’d be out in the yard working. He’d go, “Hey, man, I need to head to the house. My sugar’s low.” I can remember looking at him thinking, “It looks high, man. “I mean, you look “like a Butterfinger with boots on, Bill. You look like you’ve had all the sugar.” Y’all know I’m from one of those families when we get done eating supper, it looks like there was a carbon monoxide leak in the living room. My mother’s laid out on the love seat. My dad’s holding the remote. He lost consciousness. The gravy was too thick. And it– but my dad’s gonna wake up in 30 minutes like a hibernating bear and look around and go, “You know, I could use something sweet if you got it. Help me get back on my feet again, you know?” Listen, you should be eating whatever you want. The world’s on fire. If you watch the news and go, “I’ll take a kale salad,” you’re sick in the head, man. There’s no better time than now to put gravy on your salad.
[cheering, applause]
I’m serious. Out here eating healthy. You got people exercising. I think that’s crazy, too. You want to live to be 100 to see how this movie ends? You got problems, man. I’m not saying off yourself. I’m saying go out the old-fashioned way, you know? Be like 83 years old, weed-eating in the yard, and you go… [clucking] I think that’s it, you know? I’ve tried to eat healthy, I can’t. I’ve been eating the wrong way for too long. My stomach reacts to salads like some of y’all’s reacts to Taco Bell. It’s like, “What is this?” You know, we’ve never heard of a “car-rot.” A carrot. We’re not packing this. We’re sending it, you know? Sometimes I need some chicken fingers to get back on my feet again. I’ve lived in a hipster neighborhood for a while, and they always tell me, “Derrick, you need a juice drink. “You need a smoothie. You need some juice.” I’m like, “If I have any more juice “and somebody bumps into me, I’m gonna poop my britches.” I-I’m an adult. I’m not built for juice. Children are built for juice. If I have two cups of apple juice back to back, your boy’s fighting for his life. I-I’ve tried to do things that hipsters wanted me to do. They go, you need deodorant without aluminum. I need all the aluminum! No, I tried to use that deodorant that runs off friendship and tree bark. No. I-I need something that fights for me! I-I tried to be an ally, but I’m not gonna die alone.
[cheers, applause]
Thanks for having me, man. Y’all were so much fun.
[cheers, applause]
Thank y’all so much. Derrick Stroup.
[cheers, applause]
I love this time of year. Not just for Christmas, but also because it’s football season.
[cheers, applause]
I always wanted to play. I-I have a good mind for the game, but I just didn’t have the body. Definitely not, bro. Look at you. Oh. I didn’t– I thought your microphone didn’t work. [laughs] All right, so I don’t have the body to play football, but I do have the body to teach football. And recently, I got a chance to do just that. Let’s take a look.
NARRATOR: In a city that plays hard, a Monday morning quarterback gets the chance to prove himself to the team he loves. This is “Titan for a Day.” Nate Bargatze, a stand-up comedian, arrives at the practice facility for a grueling day of work. I’m going in today to lend my expertise to this organization. And I’m excited to do it. Yeah, calling the fr– uh, front desk. Hello?
NARRATOR: Nate eventually enters the facility and immediately gets to work. Up ahead, we have the equipment room.
And the weight room where the players train–
Hey, real fast. Uh, I’m ordering food.
Could you just put in the address?
Okay.
Thanks.
NARRATOR: He’ll have to hustle to get to the morning meeting, where Titan players eagerly await his words of inspiration. Hey, I’m Nate. Today I’m gonna talk to you guys about confidence. This is something that you guys need on that field, something that I have on the stage. Let’s show them. 2020 has been my favorite year.
[laughter]
Out of all the years, this has been
the best one.
NARRATOR: Nate motivates his team by sharing his entire hour special, which was filmed during the pandemic and mostly about COVID. Wow, that was great. Any questions? Titan up? Who was that guy?
NARRATOR: The team meeting was a huge hi, but things hit a snag when Nate’s food delivery is MIA. No, I ordered this food, like, 45 minutes ago, though. I can see that you’re close. Just go to the gate. Nate’s next stop is the weight room where he meets the Titans’ director of sports performance to discuss the team’s fitness regimen. I’m gonna show you some stuff that I do with my trainer. [whoops] Nate has his own innovative ideas to share. I didn’t know y’all had these. This is all you need. Now it’s time to hit the field, but there’s a problem. I’m in the parking lot. You don’t see it? Nate and his food delivery driver can’t get on the same page about where to meet. Yeah, I’m locked out again.
Is this the comedian?
Yep. It is on the training field, where Nate’s knowledge of the game can truly
make a difference.
Watch this. Hut! Ow! Golly! We’re doing it again. [grunting] [shouts] Y’all got to slow it down. So. Ah, get it. You come here. You go up, up, up that way. And you’re like, all right, dude, let go, let go. So this time, just stand there. Stay still. Throws it. [vocalizing] Right through there. Five points. Put them on the board. Boom! I have a few pointers. First off, I’d get matching shoes. We’re a professional team. There you go. Stop, stop, stop! Geez! God! All right, that one, y’all are great. Y’all are great at. Let’s try this route. Throw it the new way. I mean, look at that, baby. Everybody’s gonna catch that. Nate’s relentless drive for team excellence has led them to this moment.
NATE: Uh, I feel great. I think I brought a lot to today. You know, only complaint. Uh, never got my food. That was, you know, that was, that was a bummer. This is the first I’m hearing I did not get the job, so that hurts. I want to say thank you to the Titans. They are here. They were so fun. I’m gonna take a minute to process how I got fired. And we will be right back.
♪ Rockin’ around the Christmas tree at the Christmas…♪
[band playing “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”]
All right, folks. I believe we have more time for one more song. Darius, what do you think? How about we do, uh, “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” with, like, a Nashville flair to it? You like that?
[cheers, applause]
NATE: I mean, I don’t know who could even sing it? Why don’t we get, um… Carrie Underwood to come sing this with us? Carrie, you want to sing the song with us?
[cheers, applause]
It’s not on my Christmas album, but, I mean, sure… I’ll give it a shot. Yeah. I didn’t know I was gonna duet with Carrie Underwood. Uh, all right. You think you’re gonna be singing?
CARRIE: I mean, I feel like me and Darius could do the song. And you could just have a little break. Just have a little break. Yeah. That’s probably better. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Carrie Underwood.
[cheers, applause]
[“Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” playing]
♪ You better watch out, you better not cry♪ ♪ You better not pout, I’m telling you why♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Yeah, he’s making a list♪ ♪ And checking it twice♪ ♪ He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming♪ ♪ To town♪ ♪ He sees you when you’re sleeping♪ ♪ He knows when you’re awake♪ ♪ He knows if you’ve been bad or good♪ ♪ So you better be good for goodness sake♪ ♪ You better watch out, you better not cry♪ ♪ You better not pout, I’m telling you why♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Oh, yeah♪ ♪ Ooh, the kids in Girl and Boy Land♪ ♪ Will have a jubilee♪ ♪ They’re gonna build a toy land♪ ♪ All around the Christmas tree♪ ♪ Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry♪ ♪ You better not pout, I’m telling you why♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming♪ ♪ Santa Claus♪ ♪ Is coming♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Yeah.♪
[cheers, applause]
NATE: Carrie Underwood! I hope y’all had an awesome time. Thank you to Darius Rucker, Noah Kahan, Ashley Padilla, Derrick Stroup, Mikey Day, and Streeter Seidell. We also want to thank Lorne Michaels. Jelly Roll, Martina McBride, Mayor Freddie O’Connell. Thank you to my family. This is all for you. You guys were the best. Good night. Merry Christmas! Happy holidays.
♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪
♪ Yes he is♪
♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming♪ ♪ To town♪
♪ Ooh, yeah♪
♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town♪ ♪ Ooh, Santa Claus is coming♪ ♪ To town.♪
